Shannon McGarvey

Over the weekend I received a comment on the RRIICCEE "editorial" from a certain "josepedrocarlos" which read: "Clearly this bitter talentless writer/critic has a personal problem with Gallo." Naturally, my first impulse deleted the post until the better half of my curiosity led me to backtrack and Google the poster's handle. When I searched "josepedrocarlos," surprisingly, only Vincent Gallo-related hits popped up, the majority pontificating the brilliance of the actor-musician and bashing any point of contention. Most, if not all of these posts appeared on IMDb and were all in response to Vincent Gallo-written, -directed or -acted films, with the exception of a diatribe on "Marie Antoinette" and Sofia Coppola that included the eloquent "Boo Boo to Sofia Boo to the Oscars and Boo to you if you go see this." Nice.

Commentary on "the Brown Bunny" proclaimed Gallo "...a brilliant filmmaker [that has] more talent and energy than most other humans," and went on to "...PRAY FOR GALLO TO HAVE A LONG LIFE AND MAKE MORE BEAUTIFUL AND ORIGINAL FILMS IN SPITE OF THE LOW CLASS COMMENTS POSTED [on IMDb]." The commentary then reaches a delusional high as "josepedrocarlos" pretends to be a 54 year old immigrant that cannot understand "how ["Buffalo '66"] did not win an Oscar [and how] Vincent Gallo did not become the biggest star in the world." Hmm... strange, though surprisingly, not the strangest.

It is the comment by "josepedrocarlos" on one of the actor's newest works, "Moscow Zero," that skyrockets the aforementioned narcissism into the realms of underworld creepiness. While congratulating Val Kilmer's acting prowess (which should prove to further support Gallo's delusion), "carlos" outs himself as a cast member of the film stating "Having [Kilmer's] name in the cast as the lead is an insult to my intelligence and to the rest of the cast" and later urges real Gallo fans to "see this film regardless of how bad it is."

Clearly, this "josepedrocarlos" is not just any Gallo enthusiast, but the Gallo-enthusiast — Gallo himself. To further underscore this accusation, in 2000 Sofia Coppola was rumored to be working on a documentary about Vincent Gallo's bisexual love life, as cited in a Salon.com interview, which never came to fruition. What's more, Gallo's panned fellatia-baby, "the Brown Bunny," was released in 2003, the same year that "Lost In Translation" debuted to critical acclaim and subsequently won an Oscar. He has all the reason to hate Coppola, calling her a "daughter of" and making reference to this in the IMDb commentary on "Marie Antoinette."

Both posts mentioning Kilmer, the comically titled "Val Kilmer's name up top ??? WHY ????????????" and the aforementioned separate post in which Gallo pretends to be a 54 year old immigrant, makes reference to Kilmer's undeserved top billing in "Moscow Zero." Why would anyone but a self-obsessed, narcissistic and under-recognized actor care in what order his name is credited, right? 

Honestly, personality disorder and narcissism aside, I can't blame the guy. If I were ego-surfing and found a critique that didn't particularly boost my self-esteem, I would admittedly be a bit sore, too. That said, the madness must have a leash and limit! Posing under a pseudonym and writing positive reviews of your own work in which you promote yourself as a god and bash your costars as undeserving and untalented is just plain pathetic, though I can definitely understand the impulse. However, if you're going to engage in these types of activities, at least learn to cover your tracks!

Content appearing courtesy of IMDb.com

“I took a nap at my hotel today and when I woke up, I had no idea where I was,” said the Swedish-born crooner Jens Lekman near the close of his set at the Parish last night. “I opened a window and a butterfly flew into my eye and I thought ‘that is Austin to me.’” Regardless of his disdain or intrigue with Austin, he did cite his last visit in 2004 as the source of inspiration behind “Into Eternity,” the breakout single of his newest album “Night Falls Over Korteda,” and the first song of his set last night.  

Not surprisingly the Parish was packed with local Lekmanites, mostly of the drunk and sing-happy variety, nestled around the base of the stage at the feet of the pale pop singer. He appeared waifish and meek in a form-fitting suit, a caricature of Post-Industrial Europe, behind an undersized acoustic guitar and tiny pedal-operated loop machine. The one-man shtick can be a hard trick to pull off and performers must be careful not to lose the audience amidst the often boring and open mike-ish solo guitar, but it worked for Lekman and only added to the loner, friend-less aesthetic of a lot of his music (specifically “When I Said I Wanted To Be Your Dog”). There’s a beauty about the 26-year-old Swede, an innocence captured in his self-proclaimed “silly” hymns (“Friday Night at the Drive-In Bingo”) and a childlike charm beneath his cracked smile and silken voice. Of course his Swedish accent, which sounds astonishingly similar to a five-year-old’s speech impediment (“You guys wanna hear anudder song?”), could also account for some of the aforementioned boyishness.

Lekman sang a lot from his recent release “Night Falls Over Korteda” and punctuated the sure rote of touring day in and day out with a special guest appearance by Architecture in Helsinki’s Kellie Sutherland, who was performing with the rest of her Aussie band later at Emo’s. Her cameo freed Lekman from the chains of his previously nervous onstage demeanor and provoked an impromptu dance party to a sampled version of Chairman of the Board’s “Give Me Just A Little More Time.” From there, Lekman flung his jacket off and bounded into an abridged cover of Paul Simon’s “Call Me Al,” followed by the melancholy “Shirin.”

Audience members (probably the drunk and sing-happy ones), fearing the close of his set, began ordering last minute requests, to which Lekman politely ignored and instead launched into the crowd participatory 60s throwback "A Sweet Summer's Night." At the close of the song, Lekman ducked off stage and, through the coaxing of unanimous venue-wide pandemonium, bid Austin — and our eye-assaulting butterflies — Adjo (that's Swedish for 'goodbye') with an encore rendition of "Black Cab" from 2005's "Oh You're So Silent Jens."